(continuing)
No, no, NO!!
This is not happening! My water did not just brake!
Not today! Oh God, please, NOT TODAY!
My husband is so sick he won't even wake up, I don't have anyone to watch my son, and my MIL will be here in the morning. Do I drive myself to the birth center? I don't have one ounce of energy left in me. You know what, change of plans, give me that epidural!!
I was in tears when I called J to tell her what was happening. She told me that it wasn't my water, when your water breaks there is a lot more water than that. She told me it was probably my cervix softening that was causing me to leak (sorry sor the TMI, might as well get over it or stop reading). She told me to try to relax and go to sleep, and take it easy the next day because I could go into labor any minute now.
When I laid in bed, contractions started coming, but they were different this time. They were a lot like the contractions I had when I was given pitocin, just not as intense. But they were definitely not Braxton Hicks anymore. I prayed and prayed some more and eventually I was able to fall asleep.
The next morning, my MIL and SIL got here (yay!), I also had some bloody show and lost my mucus plug (google it if you wanna know what that is, I don't want to gross you out). I also kept leaking that water, I even had to wear pads. I called J to tell her what was going on and she told me to STOP WORKING AND GO TO SLEEP! I could go into labor any minute now and she didn't want me exhausted when that happens. I took it easy through the rest of the day and contractions died down.
I woke up in the middle of the night anxious, I couldn't fall asleep. My MIL was here, Ryan wasn't sick anymore, we were in the new house. And now the clock was ticking for baby to come in 2013. So I decided to watch youtube videos on exercises I could do to get baby to drop, and accupressure points to get labor started. So I was doing all that while watching "extreme couponers" in the very early morning. When I laid down to go back to sleep, contraction started coming, and they were even more intense. Just out of curiosity I started timing them. Every 5-8 minutes apart. But eventually I was able to fall asleep for a couple hours.
When I woke up there was a wet spot on the sheets. I had leaked that weird water so much that it got my sheets wet! What the heck is going on? Is it my water or not?
So I called J and she told to meet her at the birth center at 11 am, she wanted to check me to find out what was going on. At that point I was thinking she was going to keep me there to have the baby!! And contractions kept coming but they weren't really intense. Ryan and I were frantic trying to get the birth center bag and everything else ready for baby to come. I just wasn't ready to have the baby quite yet. I didn't even have time to unpack Eden's things!
At the Birth Center, J tested that weird liquid and it really was amniotic fluid, but she said my bag of waters was still intact. there was a nice layer between me and baby, so baby was still protected. She said that it was probably the outter layer of my Bag of Waters that was leaking. She also checked my cervix and found out I was about 4-5 cm dilated, my cervix wasn't as soft as she thought it was (which is good), but baby was still high, and to my panick, she started to turn posterior for the first time in this pregnancy. J told me that when a contraction came I should get on all fours or lean over something to help baby turn.
She told to go home and wait for labor to start on its own.
At this point, I was starting to doubt that contractions were ever going to pick up. I did have to have Pitocin with my first after all.
Ryan and I left and we went to Target to pick up some final things for Eden and walk around to help labor get started. I had some really intense contractions while walking at Target! We left there and went to Panda Express to get some spicy food, spicy food is supposed to help get labor started.
*pause #1* I kept thinking what it would have been like if I went to the hospital. They would have kept me there and started me on Pitocin to get contractions going. I probably would have needed to epidural, be trapped on my back, and baby would have turned even more Posterior. I was so happy and at peace that J gave my body the time it needed to go into labor on its own.
We went home and Ryan made me stop unpacking and go to sleep, save my energy for when labor starts. So I took a nap and contractions stopped, but water kept leaking.
When I woke up, Ryan and everybody else were just leaving to go to McDonald's but I decided to stay. I really wanted to finish organizing baby's things, hanging her clothes and all that. And I was also determined to get labor started for real now. So I got my breast pump out and started pumping and bouncing on my yoga ball while watching "Deadliest Catch".
That's when things got intense.
Monday, February 24, 2014
The birth of Eden - part 3
Eden's pregnancy was the craziest time of my life!
While the pregnancy itself went pretty great, I had a lot of emotional ups and downs.
Right when my third trimester began we left everyone and everything behind and moved to Texas.
All of our belongings fit in our minivan, and we didn't know anybody in Dallas.
And Ryan was about to start his new job.
And we decided to buy a house. The house was probably the main source of stress. Our first week in Texas was spent house hunting. We found the perfect house and we almost didn't get it. Lucky for us, the realtor gods aligned and we were able to put an offer in. Our realtor was pretty confident that we'd be able to move into the house by November (I was due January 4th), so I'd have plenty of time to get everything ready for baby. But of course something had to happen. On November 24th we found out our loan file had never been sent and it was just sitting on someone's desk. I was 35 weeks pregnant at that time.
To top it off, my third trimestre was filled with anxiety. I was so afraid that I would start itching again. At 31 weeks I had a really scary episode where I ended up at the hospital in the middle of the night with severe cramping. Turned out it was a bladder infection that was causing my uterus to contract every 2-4 min (yikes!). Going to the hospital only confirmed my decision to have a birth center birth. What a difference the sterile rooms and the hospital staff were from the nice, cozy birth center and the sweet midwives who were so nice they made me feel like I was being pampered everytime I went in for an appointment.
I would count the days to my midwives' appointments. The ladies at the birth center became my best friends. They knew me, they knew my family and where I came from. They knew Luca liked to play with the train set they had. They knew how much I wanted to give my baby a gentle birth, and they wanted it just as much as I did. They knew we were desperate to get into our house. They knew how scared I was of Cholestasis and having to end up with another hospital induction. They would even close the play room doors and do my appointments there so Luca could play with his train set.
I was 37 weeks pregnant when one night, after spending the day at Target getting the last things for baby, I started having contractions every 5 min. And that lasted for HOURS! I was so scared I was gonna go into labor. You see, at that time we were still living in our 1 bedroom apartment, absolutely cramped, and even though I had someone to watch Luca I really wanted my mother-in-law to be here when I had Eden, and she wouldn't be here until December 27th. I called my midwife (lets call her J) to tell her what was going on and she told me that if baby wanted to come that day it'd be fine, she was full term, but J thought my anxiety was going to keep her in there until we moved to the new house, and she also thought all the moving was going to put me into labor. Contractions eventualy died down, but I kept having contractions every day until the end of my pregnancy.
You see, we wanted baby to wait until we were in the new house, wait until my MIL got here, but we desperately needed her to be born in 2013 (hello, tax redemption and low insurance deductibles). So that meant baby had to come between Dec 27th-Dec 30th. But I didn't think I was going to be lucky enough for her to be born exactly when I had planned.
Fast forward a few weeks, December 26th. The day we finally moved into our new house!! We also had a midwife appointment that day. J checked me and said that my cervix was "butter soft", I was about 3 cm dilated, but baby was still high. J said my cervix was so soft she was afraid I was going to have a super fast labor. She made me promise that I wouldn't wait too long to head to the birth center or I was gonna have the baby in the car!!
We spent the day working! Packing and moving and getting everything set up. I was very very pregnant and Ryan was sick. We worked so hard that day that Ryan broke into a fever. His whole body was shaking, I gave him some Motrin and told him to go to bed. So I was left alone to take care of Luca and find and unpack everything. I was so exhausted by the time I put Luca to bed. I was praying and praying that I wouldn't go into labor that night, I just didn't have any energy left. And that was the ONE DAY that we didn't have anyone to watch Luca.
It was 1 am when I finally laid in bed. That's when I felt this water like liquid leaking out of me.
(to be continued)
The birth of Eden - part 2
(continuing...)
My search for a better birth started way before I got pregnant again.
It became clear soon that to give my babies the birth they deserve I would have to get the heck out of the hospital. But, was a home birth really for me? Never in a million years I thought I'd be one of those crazy, brave home-birth-moms.
Then one day I went to visit a friend who was about to have a baby (Hi, Lela!), and when she opened the door she wasn't pregnant anymore! She told me she'd just had the baby that morning, in the water, at a birth center, and that "it didn't hurt that much" (say what?). And she was already home with her family, looking great, as if she'd just run to the grocery store. And the best part? Baby was happily sleeping in her daddy's arms. No nurses to mess with her, she was where she belonged. She made it look so easy.
Then we moved to Dallas, a place blessed with a pretty good number of birth centers and midwives. But cursed with hospitals that have one the highest c-section rates in the country.
I had the chance to meet 3 different birth centers. Then I went to the birth center where I had Eden, and fell in love!! With the place and the Midwife (lets call her R). Just so you know, the birth center is NOT a hospital setting, it looked like a little Bed and Breakfast, for moms who don't want to deliver at home but don't want to go to the hospital either. You can deliver there or the midwives can go to your house if you want a home birth.
When we went in for the "get to know you" visit, R was able to give me more information about Obstetrics Cholestasis (read part 1) than any other OB had before. While all the doctors would tell me "you have a 60-90% chance of developing cholestasis again, there's nothing you can do about it, and when that happens we'll just induce early", R said she would keep a close eye on my liver levels, run tests often, but as long as the results came back normal she'd treat it as a healthy pregnancy. Meanwhile, we would do everything we could to try to PREVENT IT! So we came up with a plan. She put me on Herbal supplements, I started doing accupuncture treatments, and I was on a special low fat, low sugar diet - disclaimer, low fat diets are NOT reccomended in pregnancy, mine was a special case. I was determined more than anything to beat the odds of having Cholestasis again. R also told me that in their practice, they focus on PREVENTING pregnancy complications, instead of simply treating them if they arise. Therefore, their patients have a much lower chance of ever needing medical interventions. Meeting R erased any doubts that a birth center birth was right for me.
I could have a chance to give my baby a gentle birth, and maybe I wasn't broken afterall...
My search for a better birth started way before I got pregnant again.
It became clear soon that to give my babies the birth they deserve I would have to get the heck out of the hospital. But, was a home birth really for me? Never in a million years I thought I'd be one of those crazy, brave home-birth-moms.
Then one day I went to visit a friend who was about to have a baby (Hi, Lela!), and when she opened the door she wasn't pregnant anymore! She told me she'd just had the baby that morning, in the water, at a birth center, and that "it didn't hurt that much" (say what?). And she was already home with her family, looking great, as if she'd just run to the grocery store. And the best part? Baby was happily sleeping in her daddy's arms. No nurses to mess with her, she was where she belonged. She made it look so easy.
Then we moved to Dallas, a place blessed with a pretty good number of birth centers and midwives. But cursed with hospitals that have one the highest c-section rates in the country.
I had the chance to meet 3 different birth centers. Then I went to the birth center where I had Eden, and fell in love!! With the place and the Midwife (lets call her R). Just so you know, the birth center is NOT a hospital setting, it looked like a little Bed and Breakfast, for moms who don't want to deliver at home but don't want to go to the hospital either. You can deliver there or the midwives can go to your house if you want a home birth.
When we went in for the "get to know you" visit, R was able to give me more information about Obstetrics Cholestasis (read part 1) than any other OB had before. While all the doctors would tell me "you have a 60-90% chance of developing cholestasis again, there's nothing you can do about it, and when that happens we'll just induce early", R said she would keep a close eye on my liver levels, run tests often, but as long as the results came back normal she'd treat it as a healthy pregnancy. Meanwhile, we would do everything we could to try to PREVENT IT! So we came up with a plan. She put me on Herbal supplements, I started doing accupuncture treatments, and I was on a special low fat, low sugar diet - disclaimer, low fat diets are NOT reccomended in pregnancy, mine was a special case. I was determined more than anything to beat the odds of having Cholestasis again. R also told me that in their practice, they focus on PREVENTING pregnancy complications, instead of simply treating them if they arise. Therefore, their patients have a much lower chance of ever needing medical interventions. Meeting R erased any doubts that a birth center birth was right for me.
I could have a chance to give my baby a gentle birth, and maybe I wasn't broken afterall...
Sunday, February 23, 2014
The birth of Eden - Part 1
I thought long and hard before posting this, at first I didn't think I was going to write my L&D story, but I decided to do so because people asked, and I love reading other people's birth stories, and because I get a lot of "you're brave" comments when I tell people I had a birth center birth. I just want to show you that I'm not any braver than you are!
Before I talk about Eden's birth story, I have start by giving you a little background on Luca's birth.
It all started when I was 39 weeks pregnant, and I woke up itching from HEAD TO TOE! The itching was so insane even my lips itched, but there was absolutely nothing on my skin. It drove me so crazy that I ended up going to the hospital in the middle of the night. When I got there they ran some blood tests and found out I had a condition called "obstetrics cholestasis", it's a liver condition that arises during pregnancy that causes the terrible itchiness, among other things.
So they just decided to admit me and start Pitocin. The labor went pretty fast, they started Pitocin at 6:30 am, around 9:30 am I had the epidural, and at 11:35 am I had my son in my arms!
As far as hospitals births go, I had a pretty good experience. I had midwives and delivered at a wonderful little hospital that is known to be "natural birth friendly". But there were a few things that I still haven't come to terms with out of Luca's birth.
1.When my water broke they found out I had meconium in my Water. That meant they'd have to take baby from me, they wouldn't let me do skin-to-skin and wait to cut the cord like I so wanted right after birth (google "delayed cord clamping" to find out more).
2. I couldn't feel ANYTHING when I was pushing, nothing. I know that's the whole purpose of the epidural, but I thought it was so strange. I had to keep asking the nurse if I was really pushing because I couldn't feel I was pushing. I felt really detached from the whole birth experience because of this.
3. The lack of privacy really bothered me. Whoever said it's ok having anyone come in the room when you're in such a vulnerable situation?
4. Then baby was born, and they took him from me. He never left the room, never left my side, but he wasn't with me. I thought since I asked to keep him with me they'd be quick to return him to me, but they took their sweet time weighing him, getting his foot prints, rubbing him clean, putting a diaper on him... Meanwhile I'm watching them mess with my baby and I was SO MAD!! I just wanted to rip that nurse's hands off my baby, I just wanted to hold him and make him stop crying. He was already so upset when he came to me that he just screamed and screamed when I tried to nurse him. I thought he hated me.
5. When I held him for the first time, I didn't recognize him. I knew he was my baby, but it seemed like my brain didn't register that he was the same baby that was just inside of me. I actually morned for that baby, I told Ryan over and over "I miss that baby inside me" (luckily, that confusion was short lived, by the time we left the hospital I was already madly in love with him).
I didn't have a traumatic birth experience, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there had to be a better way to bring babies into this world. All that screaming and that crying while nurses mess with this brand new person and they act like it's the most normal thing in the world (you might do this everyday, nurse, but this is HIS VERY FIRST TIME), the lack of privacy, all the needles and the poking an the wires and the monitoring, and everything else that gets in the way of the magic that happens as mom and baby meet and bond for the first time, was that all ABSOLUTELY necessary?
(to be continued)
Before I talk about Eden's birth story, I have start by giving you a little background on Luca's birth.
It all started when I was 39 weeks pregnant, and I woke up itching from HEAD TO TOE! The itching was so insane even my lips itched, but there was absolutely nothing on my skin. It drove me so crazy that I ended up going to the hospital in the middle of the night. When I got there they ran some blood tests and found out I had a condition called "obstetrics cholestasis", it's a liver condition that arises during pregnancy that causes the terrible itchiness, among other things.
So they just decided to admit me and start Pitocin. The labor went pretty fast, they started Pitocin at 6:30 am, around 9:30 am I had the epidural, and at 11:35 am I had my son in my arms!
As far as hospitals births go, I had a pretty good experience. I had midwives and delivered at a wonderful little hospital that is known to be "natural birth friendly". But there were a few things that I still haven't come to terms with out of Luca's birth.
1.When my water broke they found out I had meconium in my Water. That meant they'd have to take baby from me, they wouldn't let me do skin-to-skin and wait to cut the cord like I so wanted right after birth (google "delayed cord clamping" to find out more).
2. I couldn't feel ANYTHING when I was pushing, nothing. I know that's the whole purpose of the epidural, but I thought it was so strange. I had to keep asking the nurse if I was really pushing because I couldn't feel I was pushing. I felt really detached from the whole birth experience because of this.
3. The lack of privacy really bothered me. Whoever said it's ok having anyone come in the room when you're in such a vulnerable situation?
4. Then baby was born, and they took him from me. He never left the room, never left my side, but he wasn't with me. I thought since I asked to keep him with me they'd be quick to return him to me, but they took their sweet time weighing him, getting his foot prints, rubbing him clean, putting a diaper on him... Meanwhile I'm watching them mess with my baby and I was SO MAD!! I just wanted to rip that nurse's hands off my baby, I just wanted to hold him and make him stop crying. He was already so upset when he came to me that he just screamed and screamed when I tried to nurse him. I thought he hated me.
5. When I held him for the first time, I didn't recognize him. I knew he was my baby, but it seemed like my brain didn't register that he was the same baby that was just inside of me. I actually morned for that baby, I told Ryan over and over "I miss that baby inside me" (luckily, that confusion was short lived, by the time we left the hospital I was already madly in love with him).
I didn't have a traumatic birth experience, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there had to be a better way to bring babies into this world. All that screaming and that crying while nurses mess with this brand new person and they act like it's the most normal thing in the world (you might do this everyday, nurse, but this is HIS VERY FIRST TIME), the lack of privacy, all the needles and the poking an the wires and the monitoring, and everything else that gets in the way of the magic that happens as mom and baby meet and bond for the first time, was that all ABSOLUTELY necessary?
(to be continued)
Monday, July 22, 2013
Friday, June 7, 2013
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
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