The birth of Eden - Part 1

I thought long and hard before posting this, at first I didn't think I was going to write my L&D story, but I decided to do so because people asked, and I love reading other people's birth stories, and because I get a lot of "you're brave" comments when I tell people I had a birth center birth. I just want to show you that I'm not any braver than you are!

Before I talk about Eden's birth story, I have start by giving you a little background on Luca's birth.
It all started when I was 39 weeks pregnant, and I woke up itching from HEAD TO TOE! The itching was so insane even my lips itched, but there was absolutely nothing on my skin. It drove me so crazy that I ended up going to the hospital in the middle of the night. When I got there they ran some blood tests and found out I had a condition called "obstetrics cholestasis", it's a liver condition that arises during pregnancy that causes the terrible itchiness, among other things.
So they just decided to admit me and start Pitocin. The labor went pretty fast, they started Pitocin at 6:30 am, around 9:30 am I had the epidural, and at 11:35 am I had my son in my arms!

As far as hospitals births go, I had a pretty good experience. I had midwives and delivered at a wonderful little hospital that is known to be "natural birth friendly". But there were a few things that I still haven't come to terms with out of Luca's birth.

1.When my water broke they found out I had meconium in my Water. That meant they'd have to take baby from me, they wouldn't let me do skin-to-skin and wait to cut the cord like I so wanted right after birth (google "delayed cord clamping" to find out more).
2. I couldn't feel ANYTHING when I was pushing, nothing. I know that's the whole purpose of the epidural, but I thought it was so strange. I had to keep asking the nurse if I was really pushing because I couldn't feel I was pushing. I felt really detached from the whole birth experience because of this.
3. The lack of privacy really bothered me. Whoever said it's ok having  anyone come in the room when you're in such a vulnerable situation?
4. Then baby was born, and they took him from me. He never left the room, never left my side, but he wasn't with me. I thought since I asked to keep him with me they'd be quick to return him to me, but they took their sweet time weighing him, getting his foot prints, rubbing him clean, putting a diaper on him... Meanwhile I'm watching them mess with my baby and I was SO MAD!! I just wanted to rip that nurse's hands off my baby, I just wanted to hold him and make him stop crying. He was already so upset when he came to me that he just screamed and screamed when I tried to nurse him. I thought he hated me.
5. When I held him for the first time, I didn't recognize him. I knew he was my baby, but it seemed like my brain didn't register that he was the same baby that was just inside of me. I actually morned for that baby, I told Ryan over and over "I miss that baby inside me" (luckily, that confusion was short lived, by the time we left the hospital I was already madly in love with him).

I didn't have a traumatic birth experience, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there had to be a better way to bring babies into this world. All that screaming and that crying while nurses mess with this brand new person and they act like it's the most normal thing in the world (you might do this everyday, nurse, but this is HIS VERY FIRST TIME), the lack of privacy, all the needles and the poking an the wires and the monitoring, and everything else that gets in the way of the magic that happens as mom and baby meet and bond for the first time, was that all ABSOLUTELY necessary?

(to be continued)