The Birth of Eden - part 6

(continuing)

What?? I'm not supposed to be pushing yet! I haven't even hit transition! JAAAY! How do I make this stop?

I screamed and grunted and screamed some more.
I now get why people who never been around births may think it's so terrifying. The screaming.
But let me tell you something. It felt really good to scream. It wasn't only because of the pain, it was a way to control the pushing and release that out-of-this-world energy in some other way.
Pushing was a lot more intense than I thought it would be. Contractions would come and I couldn't NOT PUSH! At this point I wasn't even feeling the contractions anymore, I was just feeling the overwhelming need to bear down. But at the same time I didn't want to because I was terrified of pushing that huge head out  (funny how only then it dawnted on me pushing a baby was going to be painful).

J showed me how to breath to control the pushing a little bit. She also told me to lay on a seated reclined position to try to slow it down (up to this point I was leaning over the side of the tub).
I remember I was holding onto Ryan for dear life and he was shaking so hard! It was cool knowing that we were experiencing this together, this was just as intense for him (ok, maybe not that much).
At some point I thought "there is no turning back now, the only way to make this stop is to have the baby".
I stopped screaming and used all that energy to push my baby out.
I never felt the "ring of fire" (probably because I was in the water), just pressure of her head and shoulders going through the birth canal.


And then baby was out. 1:34 am. Eden Cecile was born. And the world stopped.

Babies born in the water are the cutest thing. She just floated in there like a little fish for a bit before emerging. Then she came up and started crying, I didn't pick her up imediately, I just stared at her in shock.
I can't believe I just did that. I have a daughter. A DAUGHTER! She looks so small.
I finally wrapped my hands around her wet little body and brought her to me. I cradled her in my arms and said "você é linda" (you're beautiful). When she heard my voice, she stoppped crying, widened her eyes and looked at me. We just stared at each other in awe for what it felt like forever. Everything else in the room became a blurr, just background noise. It was as if we were both saying "it's so good to finally meet you". She was so alert, it seemed like she knew exactly what was going on.

An there it was, the moment I worked so hard for. The moment that was taken from me the first time for no good reason. The moment I couldn't give my son. Being born into her mother's arms, the very first contact she had with this world was all about LOVE. No strangers cold, gloved hands. No eye goop blurring her vision. No tubes going in through her nose sucking her airways. No laying on a cold scale, no being rubbed dry. Just love in the arms of her mommy. There was no confusion this time that she was mine. So mine.

When I came out of my transe I realized the tub was almost all the way drained and the cord had stopped pulsing. Ryan cut the cord and took Eden so they could take care of me. At some point the other midwife had gotten there too (labor went so fast she didn't even make it the in time). They helped me out of the tub and into the bed. They weighed baby and she was 7 lb 8 oz (love those 7 pounders, just like Luca), and 20.5 in long. Not bad for being born at exactly 39 weeks gestational age!

I was surprised that I was still in some pain. It wasn't as painful as before, obviously, but I thought the pain was supposed to completely go away after birth? But the midwife checked and I was intact, no tears at all (yay for water birth!).

Eden was crying when she came back to me, I put her nakey on my chest and she calmed down. I breathed her in as much as I could. Brand new babies smell wonderful!! You get a little drunk on that smell. This might seem strange to you if you never had children, because they look gross when they come out. I was so glad she wasn't rubbed dry. She started showing signs that she was hungry, and I brought her to the breast to nurse. It was so funny when she realized food was near her. She widened her eyes and started licking around. She eventually figured out how to latch and she did not want to stop! She would scream bloody murder if you tried to pull her off the breast.

Nursing her for the first time was another healing experience for me. When I tried to nurse Luca for the first time he was already so upset with everything they had done to him that he just screamed and screamed. We had such a hard time trying to get him to nurse, I thought he didn't like me. I thought I had a problem. It turns out, if you just leave mother/baby alone, if you don't get in the way of this first magical after birth moment, they figure it out.

Then it was time for our herbal bath. The midwives filled the tub again with water and healing herbs and put me and baby in there. That was baby's first bath. Much better than a cold, hospital sponge bath :) I just held her head and let her float around the tub. I was so cute.

Then came the annoying part. I had to pee. They won't let you go home until you empty your bladder. So I was just sitting in the potty for a while waiting for peepee to come (sorry for the image). 

Then it was time to go home. We left there around 4 am. They like to send you home about 2-3 hours after birth because they want you to sleep in your own bed when baby hits the "recovery sleep". 

Everything went so fast! I got to the birth center a little after 12 am, thinking J was gonna send me home, had the baby at 1:34 am, and was happily tucked in my own bed before dawn!

Recovering in my own home was so much nicer than being in the hospital. Ryan loved it!! No dealing with unconfortable hospital beds, nurses poking and waking up your sleeping baby, no lack of privacy.

I was also supposed to be in strict bed rest for 2 days. Which was hard to do because I was feeling so great! I was in that "natural birth high", as midwives call it. When my midwife came to our house the next day to check on us and I opened the door she said "What are youdoing up? You can only go to the bathroom, and then straight back to bed!" Whoops.

Eden's birth was such a healing experience for us. I can't believe how blessed I was! Not only did I beat the odds of having Cholestasis (remember how every doctor said I had a 60-90% chance of having it again?), but Eden was born in the perfect day (December 29th), and I couldn't have asked for a better birth.

(to be continued)